There are no pictures

No pictures and that’s a good thing.

It was a hot day at noon and I had come back from a long walk in the hills and I was understandably overheated. The fastest way I know of to cool off is to have on fewer clothes so as soon as I got in the door of my house, I tore off my shirt and hooked it on my bedroom doorknob.

I live back from the street. There’s a gate that’s hard to open. People rarely come up our walk without calling first, so as I was sitting on the couch, reading while I cooled off, I was shocked to hear a knock on the door. Did I mention that if you are at my front door, you are at a point between the living room and the other parts of the house -like the bedroom where my shirt was dangling?

Meaning, if I was going to answer the door, (and it’s a door with many windows in a room with many windows) it would have to be sans upper body clothing. I thought of running past the door so fast that I would be a blur but didn’t think I could pull it off so I hid behind the one solid wall section, hoping whoever it was would go away.

Whoever it was didn’t go away and the knocks were persistent and loud. I continued cowering till I heard retreating footsteps. I peeked around the corner and caught the eye of my ever-so-nice neighbor as he took one more look back at the house before going down the steps.

I had no choice. I grabbed a big pillow from the couch and holding it casually in front of me, I went to the door and greeted Bill. We both tried to pretend that I was not wearing a pillow as he reminded me that I needed to move my car so because it was street cleaning day.

He had a hip replacement a few years ago and still walks pretty slowly so as soon as he turned to go, I threw my shirt back on, grabbed my keys and was outside before he hit the bottom porch stair. I managed to carry on a decent conversation with him on the walk out to the gate, hoping it would make him totally forget the previous 7 minutes.

I’m not so good at keeping track of the 2nd Tuesday of the month when the street cleaning truck comes. The fine is $37 if your car is left in the way, so I really am grateful for all the times Bob has come over and reminded me, but today I’m going over to his house to give him my phone number.

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6 responses to “There are no pictures

  1. Chuckle…….. it has happened to me as well- I live out in the middle of no where and on a sunday afternoon wearing only a slip I was surprised to be out watering the garden when a voice said, Hey! I shot back to the house like a flash to put something on as my neighbor walked across the yard- no car he had walked over…….

  2. funny story… i think if he saw the blur, he might’ve gotten the idea and just chilled for a couple minutes.

  3. What a nice neighbor you have and a bit embarrassing 7 minutes, but we all have been embarrassed at one time or another, myself included for sure. Best to laugh and forget I guess, thanks for the story.

  4. 🙂 that is too funny!

  5. Ha! I bet it would have made his day had you answered the door as is though!

  6. Hilarious. You should send this story to the City of Berkeley…has policy implications!

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